A Place of Balance

I have found that having a "place of balance" in my life is a powerful contributing factor to my sense of well being and ability to sustain what I am engaged in over an extended period of time. I have not always come from this perspective. In my youth I drove, with passion, towards my ends, exhausting myself, burning out, and often times crashing and burning. Somewhere I had come up with the idea that this kind of manic success/failure profile was the sign of a true artist or someone who passionately pursued their interests. I, of course, aligned myself with others of like mind, which resulted in a part of my early years being spent either in pitch black despair or in brilliant, blinding success. It had it's moments, but that was the problem - it only had moments, and the rest of the time was spent in either ascending or descending struggle. I am happy to say that this is no longer my modus operandi, though the experiences is certainly the stuff of many good stories.

What I discovered, along the way, is that moving in a chosen direction, towards goals that I connect with in a profound way, is about bringing my mind back to center, again, and again, and again. As diversions carry me away, as the path forward may become confusing at times, and I may make a wrong turn, yet, when I discover the need for correction, it is about just making it, and I return again to my center. The challenging part of this, for me, is moving away from or past that which is not in alignment with my center, but which I am drawn to for various reasons. I am human after all, and human frailty and wants are a part of my make up. I am always working at improving, at being a better person, and serving others in more effective ways. It all comes back to center and to the heart space that it springs from and returns to.

Connecting Passion with Reality

I recently attended a presentation by Simon Sinek. I first connected with Simon's message when I listened to and watched his presentation on TED (my all time favorite want to know something about anything site!)

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action.html.

What I took away from Simon's talk was very different than I think most people in the room took away. Those that were in attendance were all CEOs, COOs, Owners, and VPs of companies from all over Wisconsin and northern Illinois. What I took away from Simon had to do with a particular element of his TED WHY presentation and the presentation that I attended. What I took away had to do with how the brain works when it comes to connecting Passion, and particularly Passion associated with one's WHY, to the real world. Simon speaks to the two areas of the brain, the neocortex, and the limbic cortex, as playing key roles in connecting with your own WHY as well as connecting others with your WHY. What I came away with was that, because these two areas of the brain don't "get" each other, you have to build "bridges" to make those connections, and you have to do this regularly - almost like a drum beat.

Defining your WHY is just the first step. The definition of your WHY finds voice as a result of your neocortex, which is where your logic and language abilities reside. The heart of your WHY, the soul of your WHY, is fueled by the voiceless, logicless emotional center of your brain - your limbic cortex. It, unlike that which comes from logic and language, has no corporeal form - it is purely of spirit. It, by itself, also has little "staying power" in the realm of reality. There, then, is truly the rub! How do you take something of spirit and give it form? If you think of this question in terms of human existence, this has been the making and downfall through history of humankind. Simon has taken this age old struggle to connect spiritually with our world and distilled it down to ones own WHY.

Simon, during his presentation to this group, pointed to some of the "things" that he uses, on his person, to connect the spirit of his WHY to reality and to current events. Simon wears orange items that, when he sees them,feels them, and uses them, are reminders, are ties that connect the spirit and reality of his WHY. He developed and used these "shorthand things" as a conduit. They help to continually connect the emotional part of his WHY with the logic and language part of his WHY. People of like mind resonate with Simon's message in proportion to their own drive to make similar connections for themselves. So what exactly happens when this spirit/reality connection is made, nurtured and returned to the world? There are examples of those individuals who have been able to resonate over a continual period and time, and both spiritually and realistically connect with a powerful WHY: Martin Luther King, Gandhi, Jacqueline Novogratz, Henry Ford, and Steve Jobs, to name a few. A truly powerful WHY transcends individuals, embraces possibilities not yet realized, and strives towards horizons yet unseen.

On The Path to Enlightenment

I had a tough week last week. There were a couple of things that came together that made me look, really look at my life and my choices and my WHY. I found it necessary to spend the weekend revisiting what I know to be my core purpose for being and to reconnect in order to move past the events of last week.

Last week brought tremendous disappointment in the company that I work for. I am seriously beginning to doubt that this company is the vehicle that will allow me to fully realize my WHY. We have a leadership that seems unable to stop lapsing into modes of communication and politicking that have no place in a truly people centric culture. Having leadership that BELIEVES in our WHY is an absolute requirement for us ever to have a chance of getting there. I just didn't see it this last week. Don't get me wrong - there are those leaders who live the vision, just not enough of them, and not enough at the top. It becomes really obvious when the going gets tough.

I really need to take into consideration how much time I realistically have left and how that has the potential of playing out given the current state. If I were to dream the dream, I need a vehicle that is solidly anchored to its WHY. I need people around me who are all rowing in the same direction with conviction, with enthusiasm and with a FAITH in the WHY that is unfaltering and unwavering. How we treat the least of us is a key to how people centric we truly are.

This weekend I spent with my daughter celebrating Mother's Day. Being a Mom has been an amazing adventure. My daughter has given me 20 years of growing and stretching and testing and change. She is my most valued teacher and my most beloved creation. "A child is someone who passes through your life and disappears into adulthood." My daughter is at that threshold. It is important to me, until I take my dying breath, that I model what it means to live life fully; to push the envelope, to challenge myself; and to be fearless in the pursuit of my WHY, not just for her, for for all of those in my circle of influence. I may not have a lot of time left, but what I have needs to count.

The Complexity of Relationships

I spend a good deal of my time focused on how people build, maintain, and strengthen relationships. The core of what I do focuses on the art and science of communications. In all honesty, as I work with others in understanding themselves, the messages they send, it amazes me that we are as successful as we are in communicating. There are so many combinations or behavior and character traits. There are so many familial, community, and cultural differences. There are so many levels of language and communications skills. It seems almost an impossibility that, with all of this variety and all these variations, two people can meet at a place of common understanding. I can tell you that time and again, I have seen two people work through issue after issue as their understanding of each other found a foothold. I have also seen two people so divided by their inability to connect that it causes them to become even more alienated, even more divided. Why do some people overcome their differences and find a way to connect and communicate, and other people seem to never breach the divide, but instead increase the chasm that lies between them? One word comes to mind as I consider this question: compassion. People who have a sense of compassion for others, who work to develop empathy and who are open to a world that isn't limited to black and white, but holds room for shades of gray: these people seem to be able to connect with others the most effectively, and in meaningful ways.

If we, as human beings, are to come together. If we are to create a world that is about developing deeper understandings and acceptance of the differences that span the human race, than it is imperative to develop and strengthen our collective capacity for compassion and empathy. We all have our lines in the sand. There may be times we, ourselves, are not willing to cross that line, but in that same awareness, we must be able to recognize that it is, in fact, a line in the sand.

So, when I find myself passing judgment - I stop, and I ask myself if I truly understand the person I am judging. When I want to get angry with someone for something that they did - I stop, and I ask myself if I truly understood what lay behind the behavior. My capacity for compassion continues to grow. My ability to empathize continues to expand to include more and more people. I wish the same for everyone. I believe in a world where we all get along. I believe that the road to this reality is paved with compassion and empathy.