The Complexity of Relationships

I spend a good deal of my time focused on how people build, maintain, and strengthen relationships. The core of what I do focuses on the art and science of communications. In all honesty, as I work with others in understanding themselves, the messages they send, it amazes me that we are as successful as we are in communicating. There are so many combinations or behavior and character traits. There are so many familial, community, and cultural differences. There are so many levels of language and communications skills. It seems almost an impossibility that, with all of this variety and all these variations, two people can meet at a place of common understanding. I can tell you that time and again, I have seen two people work through issue after issue as their understanding of each other found a foothold. I have also seen two people so divided by their inability to connect that it causes them to become even more alienated, even more divided. Why do some people overcome their differences and find a way to connect and communicate, and other people seem to never breach the divide, but instead increase the chasm that lies between them? One word comes to mind as I consider this question: compassion. People who have a sense of compassion for others, who work to develop empathy and who are open to a world that isn't limited to black and white, but holds room for shades of gray: these people seem to be able to connect with others the most effectively, and in meaningful ways.

If we, as human beings, are to come together. If we are to create a world that is about developing deeper understandings and acceptance of the differences that span the human race, than it is imperative to develop and strengthen our collective capacity for compassion and empathy. We all have our lines in the sand. There may be times we, ourselves, are not willing to cross that line, but in that same awareness, we must be able to recognize that it is, in fact, a line in the sand.

So, when I find myself passing judgment - I stop, and I ask myself if I truly understand the person I am judging. When I want to get angry with someone for something that they did - I stop, and I ask myself if I truly understood what lay behind the behavior. My capacity for compassion continues to grow. My ability to empathize continues to expand to include more and more people. I wish the same for everyone. I believe in a world where we all get along. I believe that the road to this reality is paved with compassion and empathy.

How Serious Is too Serious?

It is important to be serious about what you believe in. It is also important to be able to laugh at yourself.

There are times, for myself, when I have to remind myself that I'm a finite being living in a finite world that is spinning in a comparably infinite universe. As serious as I take myself, I still need to laugh, and I still need to be open to others perspectives and ideas. There is nothing scarier that a person who takes themselves so seriously that they can't see the irony of their existence; that they can't laugh at themselves on occasion and make fun of themselves on occasion. In the end what I do will be the testimony to what I believe. Lip service is easy...living an exemplary life is the challenge. Real truth is never compromised because one person indulges their sense of humor or makes an off message choice. Real truth just is. It's people who pass judgments and hold expectations; it's people who exclude or include according to their rules and boundaries that can create artificial truths or truths that are merely situationally applicable.

Compassion becomes the salve that breaks down barriers and allows others to freely choose without past experiences weighing one down. It is compassion that lifts others up and holds them in a place that allows them to be all that they can be. So laugh a little; enjoy life; and know that everyone is exploring their boundaries and finding their comfort zones. I, for one, choose to see the best, laugh with the rest, and live my life in a way that I am at peace with it.