The Minds Strange Landscape

It is 4AM and I just woke out of a great sleep with an idea that just wouldn't leave me. It drove me to get out of bed and to send it off to be shared. Now understand, I really like sleep. I spend so much of my time driven, regulated, structured, and limited, that, when I sleep, I feel that I am finally able to shed the boundaries of the physical world and to do things that I couldn't otherwise. Since I can remember, I have had dream awareness and control. One of my favorite reoccurring, self created dreams is flying, or more specifically, soaring beyond the atmosphere of earth, out into the amazing black spaces of our solar system. Out there, in my mind, the size of the landscape in terms of space and matter is massive. Out there I am the atom, one among countless, occupying the head of a pin. It is really fun to explore that space and to feel the level of freedom my mind allows. I have also traveled into the world of cells, in my dreams, and have been bowled over by the pulsing, driven nature of life at that level. It reminded me of a jam packed manufacturing facility with all hands on deck, all machining monuments going at the same time, people intently going here, going there, forklifts humming by, a bee hive of life. It is noisy, driven, frenetic at times, and never sleeps. If a cell reaches it's end, it's remains are carried off, and it is replaced. There is an imperative, in that dream world, and it is life.

So, to make a long story longer, it takes a rather strong thought/idea to pull me away from my love of exploring my dream state, and this morning was one of those mornings where one of those ideas did just that. Which leads me to share that, when a thought or idea commands that kind of attention, I make it a point to pay attention to it. To give it space to find voice and to explore possibilities. It seems only fair, in retrospect, that if the dream state gives my waking mind such pleasure, awe, and inspiration, that the dream mind wouldn't want to have similar opportunities, in return, in the waking state. In truth, it seems a rather simple and thoughtful thing to do, to give voice and possibly substance to the dream mind, and it has lead my waking state in directions I could never have imagined. It has also allowed me to experience my waking state through new eyes, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

How Serious Is too Serious?

It is important to be serious about what you believe in. It is also important to be able to laugh at yourself.

There are times, for myself, when I have to remind myself that I'm a finite being living in a finite world that is spinning in a comparably infinite universe. As serious as I take myself, I still need to laugh, and I still need to be open to others perspectives and ideas. There is nothing scarier that a person who takes themselves so seriously that they can't see the irony of their existence; that they can't laugh at themselves on occasion and make fun of themselves on occasion. In the end what I do will be the testimony to what I believe. Lip service is easy...living an exemplary life is the challenge. Real truth is never compromised because one person indulges their sense of humor or makes an off message choice. Real truth just is. It's people who pass judgments and hold expectations; it's people who exclude or include according to their rules and boundaries that can create artificial truths or truths that are merely situationally applicable.

Compassion becomes the salve that breaks down barriers and allows others to freely choose without past experiences weighing one down. It is compassion that lifts others up and holds them in a place that allows them to be all that they can be. So laugh a little; enjoy life; and know that everyone is exploring their boundaries and finding their comfort zones. I, for one, choose to see the best, laugh with the rest, and live my life in a way that I am at peace with it.

Even the Small Things

I was driving today, my daughter in the passenger seat, when we both spotted (almost at the same time) a robin huddled by the side of the road. As I drove by my daughter looked at me and said, "we can't leave it there, we have to go back". When I didn't turn around immediately she became even more insistent, "MOM! We HAVE to go back!"

What I found interesting about this was what went through my head. I heard my mother's voice saying, "that's life...." I remembered my Mom ignoring my pleas to turn around and rescue an animal I saw by the side of the road, and basically telling me I needed to "suck it up" as life was tough, and I wasn't going to make it far if I insisted on bemoaning the fate of every animal that was laying by the side of the road. Let me say that, once I was out on my own, and living my own life, I chose, and continue to choose to stop for animals that I see injured by the side of the road. That doesn't mean that I don't still hear her voice echoing from the past.

So we turned around and went back to pick up the Robin. I watched Jess rush from the car to the side of the injured bird and scoop it up, unhesitatingly, in her arms. Cradling the wounded bird, she came back to the car and gently eased into her seat. We are fortunate to have a wildlife sanctuary just on the other side of town that is open on Sundays, so we headed over there. Jess, immediately started talking about nursing it back to health; possibly keeping it; and this led us to have a conversation about what "quality of life" might look like from the perspective of a wild animal. As much as Jess wanted to domesticate the robin, she understood that, from the robin's point of view, given the life it had known up to that point, the wildlife sanctuary was the best bet.

The woman at the sanctuary was great. She carefully took the bird from Jess and took it back into their injured animal/quarantine area. After a quick assessment of the robin, she indicated that it had probably been hit by a car. There didn't seem to be any broken bones, but that the bird had taken a pretty good hit to the head. She explained that she would give the robin some medication to help with minimizing brain swelling and make sure that the bird was fed and watered, and that it would be about 24 hours before they'd know whether the robin would make it or not. She gave us her name and the number for the center and told us, if we would like to check back, she'd let us know how the bird was doing.

It was great for Jess to see that there are people who care and are willing to go out of their way to actually tackle dealing with the animals that need help. It felt good to, yet once again, follow my own heart instead of my parent's advice. I always think about that story about the hundreds of starfish washed up on the beach and the little boy walking along picking up starfish and throwing them back into the surf, and a man asking the boy why he bothered as there were so many starfish, and the little boy couldn't possibly save them all, and the little boy responded, as he tossed yet one more starfish back into the sea, "it made a difference to that starfish."

As I reflect of what happened today, I am made aware of the impact a parent's outlook can have on the life of their children. Like the little boy with the starfish, I want to make a positive impact on my daughters future. I want to always encourage her to grow and become more than she thinks she is, in the moment, and to stay connected in a very visceral way, to this fragile world in which we live.

What Dreams May Come

In all truth, most of my dreams have come true. An interesting thing about dreams and reality is that, for me, there is a place where they meet. There is a place where the dynamic potential that is life finds full expression in the dream/reality marriage. It is that place that fascinates me. Even as I realize dreams, new ones form. New possibilities take hold and I have no choice but to create. It is an imperative for me. I really have very little attachment for a dream lived to its natural end once that end is reached. The dynamics of one door closing and another one opening just draws me forward. Once in awhile I get an opportunity to visit one of those doors that has closed in my past and I wonder, briefly, what it might have been like to walk through that door. The interesting thing about life is that it is time and direction linear. I can't exist in multiple times and I can't choose everything. If everything is important, than nothing is important. I am at peace with my choices and I love my life. I guess in the end it is what I write on the hearts of others that will be my testimony to the choices I made.

I have about twenty something years left before I die. It's a count down. What will I do with those twenty something years? How many lives can I positively impact and how many doors will open and close? God only knows. And that is the way it should be.

"For all of the peoples and the nations of the earth, may not even the names disease, famine, war, and suffering be heard, but rather may their moral conduct, merit, wealth and prosperity increase and may supreme good fortune and well being always arise for them."

That is my ultimate dream.

A Life of Passion and Purpose

When I think of how I want to shape my life; how I want to feel when I get out of bed every morning; how I want to feel as I engage with people and what I do each day; the words Passion and Purpose color what I see, what I feel, what I live. It hasn't always been like that. I have lost my way more than once, and sometimes for long periods of time. Living a life of immersion even if it marginalizes, is the most tantalizing concept I have discovered. For ones life to become a total and complete expression of that which springs from ones core, from ones heart is the pinnacle of accomplishment. How it takes shape is the magic of working with what you have. Start where you are. The beauty of the process is that the truth of your undertaking is self evident. When what you are doing feels right, when you can see the results in the lives that you have lifted up, in the communities you have enriched, that is the reward.

"When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world." Poet Mary Oliver from When Death Comes

Let me write my epitaph on the hearts of the people I touch.

Now is All I Have

Someone who took the time to talk to me today said that life is short, and the future an uncertainty, and it's important to take the time to engage each other when the opportunity arises,it's important to see each other in that moment. How many people did I rush by today? How many faces went unseen? How many conversations didn't happen, because I was late, because I had an agenda, because time waits for no man. What I do to make a living is important to me, and it's important to those people that I work with who depend on me, and all the people that make up the company that I work for to show up, to execute their work with excellence, to contribute to the support of families and all of the lives that are touched by what we do. It is because of the opportunity to connect with these people, to have these conversations, that I get out of bed each morning and spend 8 hours a day doing what I do. These people are important to me - all of them. I sometimes find myself, in the moment, wondering if collectively we are really aware of each other - aware of how important we all are to each other. For all of the dehumanizing things we do to each other to simplify processes, or to distance ourselves from our emotions in order to make logical decisions, in the end it is about people. When I look at engineers packed into cubicles, or Customer Service associates with the phone glued to their ear, I see a myriad of connections, to children sitting at desks in schools, to spouses, to life styles, to hopes, to dreams...I see communities and businesses, churches and social organizations. I see a complex and intricate web or relationships and dependencies, and it is all so frail. As robust as it is, it can all end in a moment.

Lately I have been spending a lot of time thinking about Japan and the devastation that has taken place there. In a relatively short period of time, due to an unforeseen natural disaster, the lives of countless people have changed. What they had is just like what I have. Their lives were part of an intricate fabric of relationships just like mine. For myself, this event has lent a real imperative for me to appreciate what I have in this moment, and in each and every moment. For me this event has shaken my sense of permanence to it's core.

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths I take, but how many moments take my breath away. I wish to be breathless with awe for whatever time I have left, reveling in each moment, and at each person that graces my life, in amazement and joy.

Lines in the Sand

I had an interesting conversation today with a leader in our Cultural Development office. This department has been hard at work, for over a year, developing classes and on-line offerings for our associates. I teach one of these offerings and I was asked if I had any reservations regarding the classes or the "professors". I have to be honest that I shared my thoughts and they are similar to my thoughts regarding any "course of study". At best, when we create learnings, when we develop common language, when we align people to enable them to all be able to row in the same direction, it's important to not loose sight of the lines in the sand that we have created and of the freedom of choice that is a God given right of each and every person we connect with. I understand the imperative that our Corporate offices feel in bringing our people centered culture to our divisions, however, I am also aware that you can not make someone change, you can only create an environment that invites them to change. The challenge for all organizations driven to create alignment, is that the imperative of their "truth" becomes so strong that the people fueling the initiative start herding instead of inviting; start creating pressures to force change instead of resting in the faith that real power lies not in what you can control, but in what you can unleash.

I have core values that are quintessential to who I see myself as being - they are what my behaviors and choices spring from. They are not, necessarily, exactly the same as anybody else. From experience, I can say with certainty that there are communities of people with which I strongly align, and others with which I do not. I choose to make no judgment based on this except to say that I choose to engage with and be included in communities that allow me to thrive - that are in alignment with my core values. This being said, I also like to challenge myself to in-bed in communities that are somewhat alien to me and to work to come to understand and appreciate what they bring to humanity. We are not intended to be all alike. In music, harmony is about the blending of different notes. The same can be said of humanity - our challenge is to discover how to blend to create harmony.

So, back to my original topic. Teaching subjects, learning subjects, and creating curriculum is about expanding the human experience. People will not move towards words that pursue them. If what is being taught is valid, it doesn't matter how many doors and windows are thrown open - the truth becomes self evident. For myself, I want no part of that which can not hold it's own under scrutiny - all else is a line in the sand.