Opportunities to Realize Your Dreams are Evolving and Popping up All the Time

Opportunities to realize your dreams are evolving and popping up all the time, all around you.  The challenge is to not be so hampered by your mental models that you fail to identify these opportunities when they bump up against you.

So what is a mental model?  A mental model is how you see the world (and your corresponding expectations relative to this view of the world).  It is premised on habit, preconditioned mind sets, and pattern knowledge, and pattern recognition.  Professor Srikumar S. Rao frames mental models best in his book, Are you Ready to Succeed.  He goes on to say about mental models, "these are our fixed ideas of how the world works and how things should or shouldn't be done.  We accept these models so completely that we live our lives according to them.  We have different models for different situations - for work, for love, for our families.  We have dozens of them that we use, and some of them may actually be in direct conflict with others and we may not even know it."

Mental models serve us by helping us to put order to our current circumstance without having to constantly reinvent the wheel.  Through pattern recognition and preconditioned response we can move through our current circumstances with a measure of understanding and certainty.  The problem with mental models is that they can, inadvertently, limit us to specific pathways, so much so that growth and learning can become inhibited or prevented altogether.  So what does this mean?  For one, no matter how set your circumstance may seem to you, it is in your best interest to make a commitment to flexing your capacity to adjust and/or change your mental model - equate it to working out regularly in the arena of the possible.

Secondly, nothing is cast in concrete, so experimentation is OK, as is backtracking.  The primary goal here isn't about success or failure, it's about learning and better identifying and moving towards your highest good: fully investing and reaping the benefits of your gifts and talents, while keeping your mental model current.

Mental models aren't a bad thing.  We need them to survive.  They are not cast in concrete and they can and should be updated or disposed of, if need be.  In today's world it is an imperative to surviving and thriving.

Sometimes Life Just Happens

Sometimes Life just happens. Call it the perfect storm, write it off to bad luck, blame it on others...we all have our ways of coping with it, but sometimes "shit happens". After 60 years of living, here's how I see it. Life is like a river and we are, each of us, some of the myriad of things that comprise that river. Life, like the river keeps on flowing, changing...predictable sometimes...unpredictable other times. That's Life. As we travel along, are moved by, are shaped by this river called Life, things can and will happen. We'll smack into unforeseen objects, we'll come up against barriers; we'll get shaped, worn, cradled, caressed, and carried. That's Life. The river that is Life is a given. OUR CHOICE is how we engage with this amazing river, this Life. We have the capacity to react, embrace, reject, swim against the current or with it, join with others on our journey, cling to, drag, down, lift up, help or not, enjoy, suffer, praise or rail against this river - this Life. We can choose to find a side eddy to spend our days away from the main flow, we can anchor ourselves to the bottom refusing to be pulled anywhere or do anything (until that unforeseen 100 year flood tears our anchor away).

As I have traveled this river I have seen more ways of dealing with the river of Life than you can imagine. That's Life. What I have learned about this river is that it consistently flows, changes, mutates from calm waters to turbulent rapids from shallow sandbars to profoundly deep channels; that each coping skill that I develop to navigate this amazing and wonderful world requires me to become skilled, and yet adaptable; capable of holding on, and knowing when to let go; accepting of the challenges, and welcoming of the blessings; and ultimately understanding that the river of Life is not about me, and, at the same time, is all about me. Someday, like all elements of this river, this Life, I will cease to exist as I am today. I will become something else in this river, this ceaseless flowing and shaping and changing world. Nothing is lost to this river of Life. What amazes me is that even as I am so small in the scheme of things, I can impact this world, often times in ways I will never know, and that is true of all of us. For myself, I choose love, a kind word, a thoughtful deed, a caring gesture, choosing forgiveness...my way of navigating this river, this Life.

Inspired Engagement

I don't know about you, but I love, Love, LOVE when I am all fired up and head-over-heels involved in a project.  Those are some of the times when I truly feel alive.  Those are the times when I am truly 150% in the game.  I have boundless energy, and I find it hard to sleep.  I am so excited about what I am doing every day.  Some real "tells" that I am in that sweet spot?  I am excited and eager.  I talk to everyone and anyone about what I am working on.  The project becomes a theme that is woven into my analogies and thoughts.  I find it hard to put this project that I am passionate about down, and I find myself drawn back to it again and again and again.

I also love, Love, LOVE when others are in this space as well.  I find that I can vicariously experience the exact same feelings and energy through sharing in someone else's immersion in what they are passionate about.  I ride the excitement of the wave they create through emoting and sharing.  I find myself anticipating spending time with them around what they are working on.  I am willing to help, encourage, and support as I thrill at their progress, and learnings.  It's like Dr Seuss said, "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

I love, Love, LOVE when reality is better than my dreams!

Collaboration, learning, problem solving, creative solutions, out of the box thinking, contemplative time, investigating parallel worlds and comparative approaches; identifying patterns, trends and indicators - all come into play FULLY engaging my mind, body, and spirit.  Sometimes break-throughs come from logical progression; sometimes break-throughs come from making new connections between previously disassociated ideas; sometimes break-throughs seem to appear like manna from heaven.  It is a wonderfully dynamic and magical process - a melding and molding of givens and discoveries into hew patterns and understandings.  It is brilliantly transformational.

I am a Wave on the Ocean

I am a wave on the ocean. I am uniquely me, but at the same time connected and one with the ocean. I have a strong sense of knowingness in this connectedness. I feel father/mother ocean supporting, me, nurturing me - knowing itself through me. I celebrate my isness as a wave, knowing this to be a state of impermanence, one of many that emanate from father/mother ocean. I see the love and nurturing that father/mother ocean has for all creatures, all things as it breathes life, that like me, ebbs and flows - impermanent.

I feel my shape and form: the crest of my form - frothy and surging - advancing into the realm of air and sky, embracing it's yin to my yang, frothing bubbles of it into my isness at my leading edge. It is play, it is joy, it is a holy embrace of our oneness as framed in our differences. I feel that part of my waveness that lies just behind the froth: the leading edge. It is solidly me, the purest form of my impermanent self. It is all the unique qualities that I have chosen to be as an expression of father/mother ocean. This uniqueness that I have shaped through my connectedness with father/mother ocean is the self force that pulls my chosen attributes forward, from my wave based connection with the ocean, up through my wave form and even out to the ying/yang dance of foamy sea and sky. I feel the base of my wave form, anchored to the eternal father/mother ocean. It connects down, down, down, to the dark primordial depths, to the sea floor, to the earth, to the universe. Worlds within worlds within worlds, like a hall of mirrors; like the Buddhist endless knot that comes back to its beginning: the alpha - the omega. My wave base, my connection to father/mother ocean holds limitless possibilities that I am empowered to pick and choose from to create the art form of my waveness. Yet, even in this empowered, impermanent state I realize my love connection with father/mother ocean and, even though I have the power to self create, I invite father/mother ocean to play with me in this realm of base wave possibilities and to dance with me. Joining in movement and rhythm of form and formless, opening my awareness to realizations and connectedness that I, myself, am not capable of alone, but that in our oneness brings delight and recognition of new forms and ways of being that are co-created in this dance. The subtleties of the connectedness to all that is, becomes tactilely apparent through this co-creative dance of wave and ocean. I can connect with the trees, deep in the forests of the world where the essence of this water-based existence flows through the fibrous structures of these earth serving life forms. I can reach out, knowingly to the small desert lizzard that buries itself in the sand to escape the hot sun, finding sustenance even in this environment. All of these water based life forms are connected to father/mother ocean, whose transformational forms of cloud, rain, and ice; of gas, liquid and solid extend its reach across continents to embrace the heart of this earth: this life infused marble spinning in space. It is all so lovely, so connected, so changing and impermanent. And yet, lying at the base of all of this, the connectedness of my waveness senses eternity - peace - stillness so profound. My gift to this world and to all that it embraces is the gift of mirroring the truth of the connectedness - even as we appear to live in a divisive world, even as life ebbs and surges, even as our own impermanent existence seems to take precedence, we are each a part of something much bigger. This lovely ancient world; this dream space of life, born of the womb of matter and energy is yet one more dance - one more world, in the worlds within worlds within worlds. I am a wave on the ocean, and yet I am much more.

As a wave I serve father/mother ocean: as a surface conduit of life; spreading the sea based particulates; and aerating its mass. I am a part of the rippling skin of this giant microcosm. I am semi-permeable in nature: while some matter sinks to the deeper reaches, other matter is driven ashore, tossed up on land for air and sun and wind to deal with. I am a play thing for shimmering masses of fish, graceful whales, dolphins, and flying rays. These sea creatures momentarily become one with the joy of my leading edge, before falling back into their watery world. How bright and light this place is at the edge of sea and sky. How different and exciting, risky and thrilling, for they cannot live here long, and yet that foamy realm at the edge of their world invites that which knows itself to be greater than it is; to play and to momentarily experience the unfulfilled potential of self contained existence.

I am beauty and power and grace embodied. I am fierce and nurturing and driven. I am a flash of brilliance in a sea of sparkling waves, all unique, all the same. I am one step: a simple pirouette in the dance of matter to energy, energy to matter. I am a wave, uniquely one in a play of never ending self realization that is relational, father/mother ocean and wave...worlds within worlds within worlds.

Finding the "Sweet Spot" in Life

Humanities capacity for purposeful, mindful creation is embodied in the myriad of things that we use to enrich our lives like: our cars, our homes, our tools, our personal possessions - there is a great deal of thought and planning that has gone into our satisfaction and happiness with our "stuff".

As I create my life, day to day, do I give this process equal mindfulness and attention?  Probably not.

A good part of my life, up until now, has been in a "feed the need" mode, or, as I fondly refer to this way of being, in the mode of "immaculate consumption".  Every time I would need something, I'd save and buy it.  I've been doing this for over 40 years.  The result is a home, basement, and garage that shelters things I don't use, don't need, and can't find when I do need it.

Over the last 40 years, life has consistently demonstrated to me that, if I need something, and I am focused on the highest good and on truly serving others, I will get what I need when I need it - I will be served.  Yet I seem to doubt this truth and to stock pile things "just in case".

My advice to me?  STOP IT!!!!  What I'm finding is, when opportunity knocks and I need to move, I'm burdened by all this stuff.  As I am getting older it is dragging me down!  So I'm taking inventory, yard saling, gifting, donating, and getting myself to a place where I can move gracefully, as opportunities arise, and I can stay in balance and happy as I'm doing this.  I've learned that what worked then, might not work now, and staying in the present, load lightened, relaxed and ready, is the best way to move forward gracefully as I head into the last 20 years or so of my life.

Creating Pivotal Moments That Can Change Lives

The woman wreaked of ugly emotions as she forcefully dragged the screaming child towards her car...

 I had pulled into a gas station to fuel up and there was a car at the pump in front of me.  It was a cold, gray February late afternoon in Wisconsin.  As I had been fueling up myself, I had become an unwitting audience to this scene unfolding before me.  When the woman had gotten out of the car to wrestle with the stiff, cold fuel hose, I could hear the child, strapped into the car seat in the back of the car screaming and crying.  As a Mom I know the sound of a small child that has exceeded its capacity to cope.  My heart immediately went out to that small, tired, possibly hungry child...it's a mother's reaction to the sound of a child in distress.  I found my attention turning to the mother.  She was young, probably late teens, early twenties.  Even at twenty paces, it was easy to see that she was at the end of her rope, as well, as she wrestled the hose over to her car and put gas in her tank.  She hadn't swiped a card so she was going to have to go inside to pay for the gas.  Sure enough - once she had finished fueling the car, she leaned into the backseat of her car to free the child from the car seat and lift him to the ground.  Taking his hand, she led him, still sobbing, into the convenience store to pay for the fuel.  What I saw, in that time frame, was a mother and child who were both, pretty much in the same place emotionally.  My daughter, who was in the front seat of our car, also saw this scene play out.  I was just finishing up fueling my car as the mother and child emerged from the store in the same stressed condition.  The child was now fighting back, venting his anger at the only available person - his Mom.  She had simply given in to the misery and degenerating conditions of the relationship, and was pulling him by his upper arm towards the car, almost lifting him at times as he was prone to try to go weak at the knees in order to resist.  He was inflicting pain on her, and she was inflicting pain on him.  This was not good.  Just as she got to the car, the child dropped the stuffed toy he was holding and it fell, unseen by the Mom just under the car.  As the mother lifted the child back into the car seat, the child erupted into protesting sobs over the loss of the toy, which the mother, not realizing the toy had fallen, interpreted as even more resistance.

 Here is where the story changes. I moved to get out of my car, but my daughter put a hand on my arm, and with a worried look said, "Mom, don't."  As I slid out of my seat into the cold blustery winter evening, I smiled back at her and said, "I have to."  I walked over to the woman, who was just finishing buckling the child into the car seat, and I said in a kind a caring voice, "excuse me..."  she immediate took a defensive stance between me and her child, in an instant turning that emotion towards me.  "You dropped something..." and I immediately got down on my knees in front of her and smiled up at her, "Let me help" I said.  I took my time, probably more than I needed to, fishing under the car, allowing for the space and grace of the changed circumstances to start to take effect.  "I saw your little boy dropped a toy as you were putting him back in his car seat..."  I stood up with the toy, and handed it to the woman with a smile.  "I'm a Mom too, and I can tell that it's been a long day."  I smiled at her as she took the toy, her face now softened by our connection, "You have no idea," she responded.  As I handed her the toy I touched her in a comforting way on the arm, "Your son?"  "Yes," she sighed, as she handed the now more muted, hiccuping child, the stuffed toy.  As she prepared to close the door I smiled at the child and said, in parting, "hey buddy, you hold onto that guy now..." and I smiled at her and said, "you may not feel it right now, but Mom is just another word for Love."  I wished her well and returned to the car, to my daughters exhortations of potential bad endings and futile efforts.  I reminded her of the injured bird that she insisted that I stop and pick up, and take to the wildlife refuge.  That little boy and that Mom were just like that little bird and that fallen toy was an invitation to change the direction of things, just like you did that day with the bird - when the world calls to you, it is imperative that you be ready and willing to respond and that you have the highest good of all at heart.  It may not work out, or it may create a pivotal moment that changes lives for the better.

The True Nature and Destiny of Creative Transformation: Trash into Music

People realize that we shouldn't throw away trash carelessly...so why do we think that it's OK to throw away people carelessly?  Cateura, Paraguay is a slum that is built in, around, and on a garbage dump site.  These people live, survive, and aspire to thrive through salvaging what others found no value in.  When I look at the faces of Ada and Bebi, and I hear the music that is in their hearts I find myself celebrating the resilience of the human heart and the human spirit.  To hear the music of the Landfillharmonic is to hear the Heartsong of the people and children of Cateura, Paraguay, and to come to understand the resonance of the human heart as it transforms trash into music and elevates a subsistence lifestyle to something that speaks to us all and calls us to acknowledge the greatness of humanity even in the lowliest existences.  These lives do matter, and they can make a difference.  Please, share this with others, and celebrate the Landfillharmonic.

Strong People Ask for Help

Walk your talk and ask for help.  Creating a centered life that moves through the world in powerful ways - that's my goal.  Centering on my WHY: that core of what I believe that, for me, the world moves around, creates a strong centered core.  Asking for help in working through, executing to, and questioning options is KEY to the transparency of the truth.  A truly transparent centered life allows me to freely put my 'word' out there as a personal truth, without fear, knowing that the world will test it, poke and prod it, turn it over, and take it apart.  Criticism is perspective based feedback, and worth listening to, criticism can be the catalyst to engaged conversations around differences.  To truly understand another's perspective and to connect over that understanding, can change lives and connect in meaningful ways.  Acceptance is not agreement.  I have only lived one life out of the millions that are in this world.  To connect with others, to come to understand their views and perspectives is to enrich the ground upon which I stand.  Help does not just come from those who think like me, more importantly it comes from those who have taken the time to reflect on what I offer and to provide feedback and thoughts.  Asking for help is a great way of acknowledging the connectivity that inherently underlies humanity.

Can We All Get Along?

 

"Can we all get along?"   This question, posed by Rodney King, continues to stump us.  In all fairness this failure to all get along goes back to the origins of man.  Survival, or the sense that survival depends on specific conflicting outcomes, certainly fuels not getting along.  What I'm speaking of here, is not about those kinds of choices.  What I'm speaking about here is how we've distorted our differences into the art of using differences to self justify.  Our politicians do it, our special interest groups do it, and we do it.  This approach is evidenced in bullying, and in us and them thinking.  So let's look at the countermeasure for this faulty thinking...common ground...that's right...common ground.  So here's my story that lead me here.  I have been challenged with how different I was from one of our leaders at work for years, absolutely years.  It has been a contentious relationship at best, and downright antagonistic at worst.  The conflict has almost cost me my job along the way.  Then something happened.  He and I made a mind boggling discovery: we were different, we communicated differently and understood differently.  Even more astounding was the discovery that this condition wasn't a deal breaker: we could be different and still get along.  For myself, I was amazed to find out that he wasn't intentionally trying to get on my last nerve, and that he did want to connect in meaningful ways in order to enrich each of our lives.  In truth, he discovered the same thing about me.  We had, up until that moment, been of the belief that we were each out to make the others life a living hell.  We found out that we were very wrong about each other.  This discovery occurred because he attended a Communication Skills Class that I was facilitating, and we came face to face with our challenge in the middle of the class.  What we discovered is that it took a caring "village" to work through our differences.  As this person and I were starting to spin out of control in our habitual non-getting along behavior, a young engineer in the class called a time out on us, and shared his observation that we just didn't get each other.  He then, miraculously, translated what I was trying to say into a format that this leader could understand and, VOILA! for maybe the first time in a long time we finally got each other.  Even more importantly, we read in each other's faces and body language that this was something that we had collectively never considered.  From that point forward we were each more willing to give the other the space and grace to be different, and instead of going at each other's throat, we got that we simply didn't get each other.  We learned to slow down and not judge, but to give the benefit of the doubt and seek to understand.  It made all the difference in the world.  Just today, this self same person, who I would have framed as my nemesis not that long ago, came to my defense and had my back.  WOW!  So when I face Rodney's question of, "Can we all get along?"  I am inspired to say, it certainly is possible, but it's going to take a collective effort and a willingness to accept differences, and assume good intentions, and then slowly and carefully explore where communication and understanding may be getting off track.  Finding the common ground amidst the differences provides a point of alignment to start developing understanding.  Identifying common ground and common understanding is the key to evolving a sense of connectedness and a sense of "getting" each other.  Focusing on our differences isn't going to get us there.

Transformative Moments Happen When You are Mindful

I just finished teaching a GREAT class in PA with 11 DAZZLING people.  We spent three days talking about, and carefully examining the constructs of what embodies a Culture of Service.  There were a lot of hard questions and thoughtful pauses as we explored WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN and still strive to be mindful of TRANSFORMATIVE MOMENTS, as they arise.  So what's a transformative moment?  It might be as simple as the realization that, you've been doing something the same way, over and over and over again, and yet you seem to be surprised each time you get the same results.  It might be an AH HA moment for someone else, that stems from something that you shared, that gets them thinking in different ways.  So much of what we do in our day to day lives is premised on mindless habit; repeatable processes; and patterns of  behavior that we have developed, or that have been handed down to us.  You see, being human comes with its blessings and its challenges.  The blessings embrace our ability to adapt, adjust, and reinvent.  Our challenges arise around our complex and often automatic way of moving through life.  The rub here, is that we rob from Peter to pay Paul: we stop being mindful of some things in order to be more mindful of others.  As an example, there are days that I arrive at work and realize that I have no real recollection of getting there.  I did it automatically.  I may have processed a lot, thought wise, however getting from home to work was not in the forefront of my mind during that time.  That doesn't mean I wasn't aware.  If, for some reason, something during the trip would have deviated from the norm, my mind would have brought me back to the present moment, however, when my mind registers that it is "trip to work as usual" I am able to divert the problem solving portion of my mind to some other idea that I am working on.  So, bottom line?  Bottom line is that TRANSFORMATIVE MOMENTS HAPPEN WHEN YOU ARE MINDFUL.  Being mindful means being fully present, fully engaged, and fully in the moment.  That means having an open mind, taking in ALL relevant information, and considering possibilities from all angles.  It's not such an easy thing to do, and often times, the only way it happens is that we are caught off guard.  Finding the potential in the mundane and everyday is even more challenging, because we have the HABIT of viewing the mundane and everyday as lacking the qualities of being rich with opportunity.  So, what opportunities are you missing?  What richness are you passing up?  Every moment holds possibility, but you have to show up and be present to reap the rewards.

Love Comes Into Our Lives in Many Different Ways

Love comes into our lives in many different ways.  Twenty two years ago love came into my life wrapped in a 5lb 11oz bundle of bright eyed wonder.  Born under water, this little being didn't seem to be in any anguish or distress, but instead seemed amazed that this new world of light was still so wet and warm.  Like a small creature coming out of the primordial sea, the mid wife placed this Aquarian born child in my arms and it was love at first sight on my part.  I had spent nine months preparing for her arrival, and yet, once she was in my arms it was life by the seat of my pants for awhile.  Nothing has ever been the same, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Someone said to me once, "a child passes through your life and disappears into adulthood."  It is so true, and yet in that act of passing through my life there is a sparkling trail of memories that light up my heart, like diamonds of sunlight dancing on the wake of a boat.  To have had the opportunity to have loved so deeply, so purely, and so totally was truly a blessing.  At twenty two, she is beautiful, as she stands on the threshold of her adult life.  There is promise and optimism, there is life and enthusiasm, and most importantly there is love and laughter.  I am eternally grateful for this gift that has taken twenty two years to fully unwrap.  I love her for having blessed my life so completely, but I love her more for what she is becoming.  Celebrating Mother's Day helps me to stop, and pause, and reflect on the blessings that motherhood has brought to my life.

Does your LIFE have a THEME? (Want to find out?)

 This is from Alexandra Franzen, whose laser lucid blasts of neon brilliance continue to light up my life!

I believe every LIFE has a THEME -- like a novel, a symphony,  or a curated collection of art.

Your theme is an intricate composite of your family's themes, your ancestors' themes, your tribal-cave-man lineage, and your unique DNA. Stories, lessons, weaknesses + wishes.
Percolating through the generations. Uniquely embodied ... by YOU.

With every decision we make -- in this lifetime -- we're just playing variations on a theme.

We learn the same lessons -- over + over.
We teach the same lessons -- over + over.
Our obstacles, talents + final-breath messages -- they never (really) change. They just reveal themselves, in new + unexpected ways. Like I said -- variations on a theme.

It's fascinating to percolate through your life + hunt for themes.

It's a more than a playful exercise in self-discovery -- it's extremely practical. Because once you've discovered your theme, you can tell your story. Your real story. The big story. The story with universal resonance + impact. Not just what you've done + when, with whom -- but WHY.Some of my LifeThemes? Starry-eyed self-expression. Laser-lucid communication. Elastic resilience. Immersive devotion.

 

My biggest, most visceral theme? Supreme reinvention.

Want to discover your LifeTheme?

Your Cellular Obstacles

Your CELLULAR OBSTACLES are the troubles + challenges that keep promenading into your life, in different shapes + forms. Over + over + over.

Your worthy adversaries. Your all-too-familiar arch-nemesis. That fear you just can’t shake. The mistakes you can’t help but make. The merry-go-round loop in your head. Oh. THIS again.
QUESTION: What are the lessons you can’t help but keep learning (and quite likely, teaching — through living example?)

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Your Magnetic Talents

Your MAGNETIC TALENTS are the big-money skills, easy-as-breathing abilities, natural gifts + visceral magnetism that you exude, when you’re operating at full capacity.

The stuff you’re freakishly good at. Your borderline-prodigy abilities. When you’re using your MAGNETIC TALENTS, you’re actively in LOVE with your work. (In other words, you’re a GENIUS.)
QUESTION: What are you freakishly good at / completely in love with / frequently praised for / undeniably skilled at?

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Your Final-Breath Battle Cry

Your FINAL-BREATH BATTLE CRY is the message or mission that you’d HOLLER into the ether, if you had 25 seconds to live.
QUESTION: If you had the entire WORLD tuned into you — broadcasting live, from a top-secret location — what would you want the human race to know / remember / change / release / revive / believe?

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Your LifeTheme Statement…

My CELLULAR OBSTACLES are: ________________________,

 

________________________ + ________________________.

 

And the biggest, most vital lesson that I’m destined to learn + re-learn in this lifetime is: ________________________________________________.


My MAGNETIC TALENTS are: ________________________,

________________________ + ________________________.


I put them to use — every day — by: ________________________________________________.



I hide them whenever I: ________________________________________________.


But I’m ready to come out + tell the world that I’m in wildly in LOVE with my ability to: ________________________________________________.

My FINAL-BREATH BATTLE CRY is:

 

When Life SCREAMS!!

Life SCREAMED at me last night, and WOW, did that throw me off for a bit.  So let me unpack what happened.  First, I WON!!!  I love to win things!  I am, like UBBER happy and bubbly and delighted when I WIN THINGS!  It's like life reaches out, and taps me on the shoulder and says, "YO!  MAMA!  You are the BOMB"  Soooooooooooo, I was on cloud nine.

I won a FREE session with my Soul Friend from Canada, Jen, who is ready to ILLUMINATE my life with her gifts and talents in order to help me be better at engaging in the world, building my tribe, and realizing my dreams!  How PERFECT is that?

OK, can you feel it?  The excitement is palpable!  The anticipation is ELECTRIC!  The stage is set and a super star (me) waits in the wings, ready to make my grand entrance and DAZZLE the world with my brilliance.  Then, ENTER LIFE, STAGE LEFT.

OUCH!  OK, so challenge one: I was ready... set... and... no go!  The internet went down, DRATS!  So I whipped out my red cape and became THE MASKED WONDER WOMAN.  I fudged with the router, I restarted the computer, repeatedly, I reset everything... and... nothing.  So, challenge two: really?  really?  how could I not have a PLAN B?  I pulled up facebook on my cell and messaged Jen regarding my woes, and Jen (in her capacity to adjust and adapt) suggested we talk on the phone instead of Skype.  GREAT!!  I was all in.  So I shut down the computer, cursed at the router a couple of times (for good measure) and then prepared to receive the information I needed via the phone.  OK, so here's where I make a long story short, I didn't understand that I had inadvertently failed to provide my phone number (important!), and my phone service decided to take the slow boat to China, and didn't process key messages from Jen until 10PM, when we had agreed to connect at 8PM.

LEARNINGS:  1) Have a plan B; 2) Getting wrapped around the axle is counter productive to what I am creating (a great reminder!); 3) When shit happens, accept, regroup, own, breath, let go, and move forward; 4) When Life SCREAMS, step back, relax, watch, and learn.  VOILA, out the other side and moving forward.  It's not that there won't be pot holes in the road of life, it's that we can choose to bemoan their existence or we can observe the effects and understand how to better deal the next time.  YEAH LIFE!

Living a Life That is Expanding

This last week was FILLED to overflowing with learnings, and connecting with others; with meaningful conversations and thoughtful doing.  It was a great week, and it felt as if I was immersed in an amazingly rich river of events, people, places, thoughts, ideas and emptiness... floating... experiencing... enjoying... contemplating.  I started with a class in the Culture of Service in PA.  I was able to reconnect with a GREAT group of people that I hadn't spent time with in awhile.  Even as they were struggling with the challenges they face, they were thoughtful, gracious, welcoming and kind.  We spent time together, learning, laughing, sharing and, ultimately connecting in ways that enriched all of our lives over those three days.  I was reminded how challenging it can be to be removed from your "tribe".  Those who have to live away from their support group, their member base, their tribe, have unique challenges.  In a way, they are their own sub tribe, and as such sometimes don't operate in the collective.  There is so much that might be read into these behaviors, and yet, when I was with them I "got" what limited contact and connectivity can do to someone who simply wants to belong.  It was an honor and a privilege to spend time with them.  To hear their stories and to embrace their struggles.  Being marginalized and struggling with a sense of being connected and belonging is the challenge that many people face today.  To be able to hug someone, to look in their eyes and be able to say, "It is GOOD to see you" has so much more meaning and caring to it than anything you can deliver electronically.  Human contact is KEY to truly staying connected.  The rest seems like smoke and mirrors in the face of a hug and a kind word.

The weekend was spent at a seminar at a camp in Northern Wisconsin with yet another great group of people as we learned about DISC behaviors and how they played out in Biblical characters.  I sooo loved the stories, and parables and the depth of insight and understanding of relationships that the DISC brought to these stories.  I was able to, again, spend time with a group of people that were absolutely delightful and to have the opportunity to contemplate and absorb new ideas and concepts that enriched my understanding.

Finally, Jess and I went back to Madison to, once again, help at Deer Park in preparation for the arrival of the Dalai Lama.  It was a great chance to really get physical with moving wheel barrows of mulch up and down hills, bedding flowers and edging hedge rows.  There is something very rewarding about being able to stand back, after working so hard, and admire the progress that one has made.  All in all the week was a great mix of contemplative and physical.  If I measure the quality of my life in this week, I am sooooo blessed to be able to do what I do and to be with those who I was able to be with.  I am honored and grateful to have had this amazing week and these unique opportunities.

 

Honoring Those Whose Shoulders I Stand On

My Dad died at a fairly young age.  He developed a rampant cancer that took him in a very short time.  I flew home to spend a month with him before he passed, and to help my Mom and family travel the challenging road of watching someone you love die.  During this time together, my father and I were able to talk about death and dying.  One of the things that I liked to do as he grew too frail to read for himself, was to read to him.  Once a week or so I would collect up the numerous cards from well wishers, and I would read then aloud to him, and then he and I would talk.  There were a couple that really touched him profoundly and one of these was from his secretary at work.  She had sent a card, sharing that she had started to lobby prayer on his behalf - in a really BIG way.  She had started with her prayer circle, and then taken it to her church at large, and then had written letters to numerous Catholic monasteries, and had networked with other Catholic prayer groups.  My Dad was amazed and touched by the hundreds of people, who didn't know him personally, who were praying for him.  He said to me, "but I'm not even Catholic, why would they do this?"  "Because," I said, "one person, who loves you dearly, and truly SEES the light you bring to this world, so profoundly believes in you that she felt impelled to reach out, on your behalf to try to DO something personal and life changing, not just for you, but for everyone who CHOOSES to include you in their prayers."  He was touched that those exercising that power BELIEVED IN HIM and in the difference that prayer could make in his life, and death.  In that moment when he realized he was not forgotten in his frailness and dying, but was held in reverence and love in the hearts of those who prayed for him, he found peace.

When Life and Inspiration Intersect

Someone once told me there is a place where what you are passionate about and what people want, intersect, and the challenge is finding that "sweet spot".  I agree.  In the last couple of weeks the work that I have been doing to articulate the gifts and talents that make me, uniquely me, has been integrated with purposefully working to connect with like minded people.  What I am finding is that there is a great deal of reflection that is involved with the experimentation.  Woven into this process is a constant reconnecting with what others, with successful web sites and connectivity are doing, and then sitting back and working through how what I've learned truly applies to me.  It is NOT about mimicry, but more about taking an idea that is specific from someone else's site, and then identifying the key concept behind the approach, and then looking at the idea through my unique lens to see if there is any relevance.  I find myself dialing, dialing dialing, and then rethinking and dialing some more.  I have gone through a number of iterations and I'm still iterating.

It is all good, in the end.  It is fun work and full of thought and analysis and experimentation, which is right up my alley.  I am enjoying the connectivity and the exploration tremendously.  I have found that it is really easy to loose one's self in surfing the web and finding all kinds of ideas and approaches.  It seems that the analysis is that the entry page has to be fast, easy, and to the point.  Mine isn't there yet, but I'm learning!  There are a number of key elements to most home pages, and it appears that there are a lot of visuals and a lot fewer words.  I seem to have that flipped, currently, but I'm working on that.  It also seems that personal creativity is a differentiator as well.  I have seen some great sites where the page had a "hand crafted" look to it.  I really like that approach being a graphics and drawing kind of person myself, so I'm thinking that I'm going to head in that direction. 

In the end it is about heart space.  The really good sites have lots of heart and soul to their voice.  I'm getting there with that as well.  The challenge, for me, is imagining the people that I'm talking to being in front of me and making what I'm writing, saying, presenting truly personal.  Developing a sincere and caring voice in an empty room populated only with the screen that I'm typing into, seems at times delusional.  I am getting it, but it certainly would be a lot easier if there really were a live audience present to use as a sounding board.  This process feels like delayed reaction on the part of the audience.  I create the material.  I put it out there, and then I round up some followers, friends and virtual guinea pigs run the concepts by and get some feedback from.  It's effective, just not immediate.  So I work on one element and then leave it alone for a bit to perk with the public, while I work on something else.  I'm learning pretty quickly that short attention spans and catchy quick ideas are the flavor that seems to be most palatable. 

What a great learning curve and what a fun project.  I'm excited about where it's going and what will come next and doors open and the horizon opens up.  I'll keep you posted.

When Your WHY Makes You Different

It is easy for me to lose perspective when I am immersed in trying to exact change.  I sometimes get to the point where I can't see the forest for the trees and I start spinning in directions I had no intention of spinning and I become so disheartened, first with the behaviors of those around me that are getting me down, and second, with myself for allowing these behaviors to influence me.  I am reminded of the story of the king and the well:

There was once a wise king who ruled over a vast kingdom. Now, in the heart of the city, there was a well with pure and crystalline waters from which the king and all the inhabitants drank. When all were asleep, three witches entered the city and poured seven drops of a strange liquid into the well. They said that henceforth all who drink this water shall be “of a different mind”.

The next day, all the people drank of the water, but not the king. And the people began to say, "The king is ‘of a different mind’ and has lost his reason. Look how strangely he behaves. He is not like us any more."

The king, aware of what had transpired, was faced with a dilemma: drink from the well and become like the rest of his subjects, but remain king; or don’t drink from the well, remain “single minded”, but be swept from power by those who would view his very state of mind as a threat.
There are times when I feel that I am of a different mind, and that the leaders I work with are like those who drank of the tainted well.  Sometimes I feel pressure to move away from my core, my heart space, my WHY, just to fit in.  My heart goes out to anyone who has a "calling" that speaks so loudly to them that they CAN'T resist, but who find themselves so often lonely for like minded company and a sense of belonging versus always feeling different and somehow outside of the collective.  I find myself wondering if I am truly where I belong.

An Amazing Day of Possibilities and Connecting

OK, so, today I went to a local Bed and Breakfast: the Astor House, to tour the facility as a possible site for my PJ Wake Up Call Party.  It was the most charming Victorian House in down town Green Bay.  But what REALLY got me...what hooked me, HEART AND SOUL, was the owner, Barb.

WOW!  Talk about a heart space of sharing and connectivity.  Barb is so a part of my heart song!  SHE ROCKS!  Barb lost her husband of 35 years last year, and at the age of 65 she is working to rebuild her life without her husband.  She is struggling to put it all together and to bring order to a business and a life that was thrown into chaos with his death.  She is gentle, and kind, and thoughtful, and dedicated.  Before he died she had worked full time in Madison as a senior events planner, employed by the county.  She loved her job!  Her husband worked full time at the B&B in Green Bay.  Because of the distance, Barb had an apartment in Madison that she would stay at during the week and then she would come back to Green Bay to stay with her husband and to help with the B&B on the weekends.  The Astor House was their collective labor of love, and it shows.  It is charming and eclectic.  I am sooooo EXCITED to be bringing the PJ Wake Up Call Party to the Astor House and to honor Barb, as well as show case her and her husband's life work as framed in this lovely B&B.

 

My heart sings with this project and the blessings that it brings,  I am excited for our PJ Party and the LOVE that this project holds.  Working on this project is so much FUN!  I can't wait until the event!  We will have the option of staying at the B&B.  There are 5 sleeping rooms.  The upstairs suite is perfect for gathering together, in our PJs in front of the fire and working on our journals.  I have found the PERFECT journal to give to those who participate as a point of rememberance - to carry them back to the event and the LOVE that was shared. 

In the morning we will awaken to the joy of the final exercises, and closing with a lovely breakfast, prepared by Barb for her guests.  It will be WONDERFUL!!  How amazing is that!?!?!

Birthing My Life's Work

I am in the throes of a birthing process!  Who would have thought, at my age, I would be going through this!  I am birthing my dreams into an awakened state, into reality, and it is at once, sometimes uncomfortable, and periodically, downright painful, while at the same time I am feeling a HUGE sense of relief, excitement and exhilaration.   Up until now I have been a midwife to the dreams of others.  A wet nurse to struggling dreams that were birthed to reality, often times in ignorance and without awareness.  I have been left for long periods of time with the dreams of others to care for, as the parent who birthed them chose other diversions, not realizing how precious a thing they had brought into the world and how healing this process was to themselves, to those around them, and to the world at large.  The process of dreams to reality is a miraculous transition of the ephemeral to the real.

So let me speak to what it is like.  This is an "in the moment process" where I move into each new phase trying to offer as little resistance as possible.  There is a force here at work that is out of my control, even though there are things that I do to "prepare" for the next phase.  The good news is, I have done this with enough people in the past, as their midwife, that I know what is needed.  I know all parents believe that their "child idea" is special, and they all are, each in their own way.  This Life's Work that I am now birthing is singularly unique in that it is fathered by an altruistic commitment that spans a life time and that is framed in a prayer and spiritual practice that has been my touch stone for 25 years:

For all of the peoples and the nations of the earth, may not even the names disease, famine, war, and suffering be heard, but rather, may their moral conduct, wealth, and prosperity, increase, and may supreme good fortune and well being always arise for them.

With this prayer as the genesis of this dream, the "child idea" is blessed with a breadth and depth of capacity for human connectivity and compassion that goes beyond the ordinary.  This is a "child idea" whose heart is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE; whose mind is COMPASSIONATE THOUGHT AND UNDERSTANDING; and whose speach is the expression of all of these qualities.

This birthing process is a powerful event.  For the human mind and spirit, this is the life blood of feeling connected to the world:  being truly heard and understood, having a voice that moves the world in positive ways, seeing dreams walk the earth, all of this is our spirit connecting to matter in dynamic and powerful ways.  In today's world where disconnect is the given rather than the exception, my LOVE WISH, for this dream I am in the throes of birthing, is that it help to heal, to connect, to honor, and to enrich the human condition.  This dream that I am birthing right now was conceived in the pure light of the spirit.  I am reminded of a quote by Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

For all of the peoples and the nations of the earth, I see your GREATNESS.  I dedicate the life of this dream towards fully realizing that GREATNESS with hearts of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE; and minds of COMPASSIONATE THOUGHT AND UNDERSTANDING; and with speach that is an expression of all of these qualities.

Chop Wood, Carry Water, or Simply Shovel Snow

There is something to be said for physical work, like shoveling.  When I first started shoveling snow this morning, it was about the process.  I am, by nature, systematic in how I do things.  I am a planner and a thinker and then I ask myself, "if I'm to put one foot in front of the other to get where I want to go, what does the next step look like?"  This week was absolutely chock full of pivotal moments:  An owner of a business that we work with, died unexpectedly at the age of 64.  Then, I taught a class in the Culture of Service.  Finally, I had my review at work from my leadership.

As I'm shoveling snow, I'm considering that the death of Mr. Masters, at the age of 64, was TIME giving me a "shake" to wake me up and do what I'm going to do - to live my dreams and build the world I want to wake up to.  I turn 60 this year.  I have worked my whole life to build others to greatness, and I have been asking, for quite some time, when it would be my turn.  My trip to Canada was another "shake", this time with love and words and examples of women who are committed to living their dreams and to creating the world THEY want to wake up to.  As I'm resting on the handle of my snow shovel and contemplate the deep snow on the driveway, and I consider, as Robert Frost put it, the miles I have to go before I sleep, I realize that there are two key questions I need to be asking myself in the light of Mr. Master's demise and my reflections: the first question is, "If I were to die tomorrow, where would I want to be?"  Then I had to laugh at myself, because shoveling this amount of snow at the age of 60 might just put me in the ground in the dead of winter in cold ass Wisconsin.  The second question I had to ask myself was, "If I'm going to live my dreams and wake up to the world I want to build, where would I do that?"  Again, as I started back to shoveling the seemingly endless mounds of white punishment, I realized, very definitively, that it wasn't in cold ass Wisconsin.  Strike two.  I want to die with the sound of the ocean on a beach, and warm temperatures, and seabirds.  I want to be surrounded  by people who don't measure my worth in terms of whether I am an asset or a liability, but who truly value me as a blessing and an irreplaceable part of their world just as they are of mine.

Then there is the Culture of Service class that I taught.  It was a great class, and I love the people and the material because it speaks to my heart and to the core of my being.  At the end of the class I wrote a LOVE letter to the class.  Here is what I wrote:

I want to live in a world where service to each other is like breathing.  Where we DO understand that the world IS round - and that what goes around comes around, and we INTENTIONALLY plant the seeds of service KNOWING that, like the pebble in the pond, our actions will send ripples out, reverberating through our world, and around the world.  I'm tired of and saddened by people who are fearful:  fearful of being taken advantage of, fearful of being made a fool of, fearful of ending up on the short end of the stick, or being "found out" in some way. I want you to connect with others in meaningful ways and to come to understand how AMAZINGLY important you are; how IRREPLACEABLE you are in the lives of those you touch, even though, for many of those lives, you will never know the impact you have made, and I want you to know how important THEY are to you, the shoulders upon which you stand today are those who CHOSE to serve you. So, I facilitate this class with the intention of being a part of this EXTRAORDINARY opportunity to help you help us. It's about caring and moving us, collectively towards a heart of service that truly honors our humanity and enriches the interdependent world THAT LIES AT THE HEART of what we have built, as individuals, as families, as communities, as cultures, as HUMANITY. For you, it all begins with the realization that ANYONE becomes your customer the moment you have the opportunity to serve, and that SERVICE is meeting the needs of someone else. You can change lives through your opportunities to serve - you have the potential for GREATNESS.

Finally, I had my review this week.  It was a good review, even a great review, but it clearly outlined to me my asset and liability value and it left me feeling empty and void of any sense of there being anything that even remotely looks or feels like my dreams or the world I want to wake up to.  At the end of a year I'm a number...an assessment of an asset.  As I'm chipping away at the mound of hard, iced snow at the foot of the driveway that the plows had left, I thought, "Is this how I really want to live my life?...to end my life?...in cold ass Wisconsin...a number?...Really?...Really? 

The piles of snow at the foot of the driveway are so tall, that I find that I have to walk shovels of snow and ice from the bottom of the driveway up to the top of the driveway in order to be able to toss the snow over the ever increasing piles that frame the drive.  Sometimes life is like that, it gets so piled up around you that you can't see over the piles to what lies beyond.  I'm in the process of making it possible to see the future and to have a sense of a path forward.  I look forward to what the future holds and to what lies ahead, and I am absolutely sure that, if I die unexpectedly at the age of 64, I will die in a place where I want to be, doing what I want to do, valued by people who LOVE me unconditionally and who understand how important we are to each other.

 

ALEXANDRA THE GREAT!

OK, so it's a pretty loud title and, some might think, hard to live up to.

NOT!!!!!

If you want to give yourself the most loving, positive, mind blowing kick-in-the-pants that you could possibly give yourself, sign up for a WRITE YOURSELF INTO MOTION weekend with Alexandra Franzen. I just spent an AMAZING long weekend, in Athabasca, Canada, with some women who are truly GIANTS in the world of realizing dreams and seeking highest good.

Can you hear that?

It's a standing ovation...a MAJOR celebration and recognition for these women and for Alexandra. WOW ladies! Simply WOW!

So what did I come away with? Well let me tell you!

Who am I?

I'm a heart song coach. I listen to the heart notes of others and facilitate unique life compositions for which they are the melody line. But really, I love listening to and honoring the music of the lives of those around me. So, tell me, what are the songs that life has written on your heart?

I am a creative life collaborator. I immerse myself in the creative juices of others and then engage with them in shaping life and realizing dreams. But really, I love to play in the realm of the potential and unleash that which is so much bigger than any one of us. So, what's waiting in you to be unleashed?

I am a dream maker. I listen to what is in the hearts of others and then I help them to see that realizing their dreams is simply about waking up. But really, I am a "waking up" work in progress, and I could really use your help. So, as a collaborator in the waking up process, what are your dreams, and when do you feel the most awake?

How's that for a trumpet toot!?!

You know what is EVEN COOLER? YOU ARE BRILLIANT TOO! For me, when I wrote it down, and put it into words, I was shaken awake to what I was depriving myself of by living "less than". Well, no more! As Alecia Keys says, "This girl is on fire!"

But really?

I believe that you deserve to truly understand your potential and how possible it is to build a life where your dreams come true. I'm so tired of people moving through their lives with diminished purpose, or people feeling that they have to accept "less than" because they believe that is all they deserve. What I dream for you is a rich and fulfilling life, full to overflowing of things you have dreamed of, and those things that have yet to dream. I have created an experience that I guarantee will wake you up to the brilliance of your true self, and I will connect you with a network of like minded people who will be there for you to celebrate and SHOUT OUT! in delight as you light up the world with YOUR AWESOMENESS!

So what's next?

I'M THROWING A PJ WAKE-UP CALL PARTY FOR A FEW OF MY FRIENDS AND A FEW OF THEIR FRIENDS!

And here's a promise for my friends in Canada. I will be throwing one in your neck of the woods in the not too distant future, and you will DEFINATELY BE INVITED!

Alex, you are the best! Thank you for waking me up. I am committed to paying it forward, and my heart song now includes your praises! YOU ROCKED IT!!

XO to all.